And it's a big hello to Lisa Presley. Or, at least, Lisa the owner of an English bulldog called Presley, who even has his own web site (in fact, at least two).

Not, I presume, Lisa Marie Presley, formerly associated with assorted defunct rock stars.

Sorry to hear about your recently deceased husband, dear  (no, not that one: this one was apparently in a coma after a car-crash), but I don't actually remember expressing an interest in adopting Presley. Still, if you care to tell me what inevitable advance fee there is that I have to pay before you can send me the non-existent dog, I'll be happy to send you an imaginary cheque.

Sigh...

At least it's not a seasonal sob story. And at least you didn't call it Shep. (Exit, humming "You ain't nothing but a hound dog...")

David Harley
Director of Malware Intelligence